Two Drawers, Two Worlds: Growing Up Kosher

September 21, 2025 - By admin

“NO!!!” my siblings and I shouted in unison as we stood around the modern black kitchen table.

My friend Sharon Maloney froze, a spoon dangling in mid-air.
“What did I do?” she whispered.

She had just opened the meat drawer and picked up a spoon to scoop ice cream.

“Sharon, you forgot—we keep kosher,” I explained. “That spoon is used for meat. Put it back, then open the other silverware drawer and use a dairy spoon.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. How could I forget?” she said, mortified.

Sharon was practically our fifth sibling, but on this day, she wasn’t paying attention.
We pointed out that the drawer she’d opened was for Fleishik, literally “meaty” or “containing meat”—utensils. The next drawer held Milchik silverware — “milky” or “containing milk.” Those were the Yiddish words we used to describe our utensils and dishes.

In our kitchen, keeping kosher meant two of almost everything: two sets of silverware, two sets of pots and pans, two sets of dishes, and even a double sink—one side for meat, the other for dairy. You never mixed the dairy stuff with the meat things. No cheeseburgers. No milkshake with a hamburger. And never, ever put a milk glass in the meat side of the sink. It sounds complicated, but to us it was second nature.

Keeping kosher also meant no pork of any kind—no pork chops, no ham, no bacon. It meant never setting dairy on the table with meat, or meat on the table with dairy. And fish had to have both fins and scales—so no lobster or shrimp or other shellfish.

Some Jewish families keep kosher only at home but eat freely in restaurants. My family kept kosher everywhere. We rarely ate out, though we often brought food home from kosher delis. When we did eat out, we ordered grilled cheese sandwiches or other dairy foods.

When I was old enough to go out with friends, I had to figure out which foods passed the “kosher” test. I remember the first time I called my father from the New Englander Pizza Shop on Cedar Lane in Teaneck, New Jersey:
“Pop, can I eat pizza?”
“Yes—as long as there’s no meat on it.”

If I were going to a Chinese restaurant, he’d remind me, “Enjoy, but nothing with pork.”
Before long, I knew what to order without asking.

How did keeping kosher start, and why do many people still adhere to these rules? There are many theories, but some people believe it was so the Biblical Hebrews could distinguish themselves from their non-Hebrew neighbors. Other theories suggest that rules once protected people from unsafe foods, although tradition rarely cites this as the primary reason. In addition to the foods you are allowed to eat, there are stringent rules ensuring animals are treated humanely and slaughtered according to specific rules.

Today, kosher certification marks help guide shoppers. You might see the word Pareve / Parve — meaning neutral, neither meat nor dairy—along with other kosher symbols on packaged foods and restaurant signs. Parve means you can eat those items with either dairy or meat meals. Many different symbols denote Parve or kosher food on their packaging, but here are two of the more common ones:

Parve Symbols — Kosher Certified symbols. International symbols of kosher food. Packaging concept.

Whether it was a startled cry over a misplaced spoon or a pause before ordering pizza, keeping kosher shaped the measure of our home and my own sense of identity. The rules that once seemed like kitchen mechanics now feel like a recipe for memory—linking everyday meals to generations of tradition.

Tara, circa 1966, enjoy her “dairy” breakfast.